Freeloading widow receives no inheritance, expects kids she kicked out at 18 to support her: 'My mother has not worked for the last 30 years'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Pretty much anybody who has ever worked full-time has woken up some mornings and wished they didn't have to do that anymore, but not everybody gets the luxury of following through with that thought. The reality is that for you to survive comfortably, you either have to be rich or marry rich. The second option, in particular, is also something that could change in an instant.

This is something that one widow has found out to her detriment. After her second husband, who she relied on financially, passed away and left his entire inheritance to his kids, she was left turning to her own children to help her out. Her daughter told her on no uncertain terms that after managing to get through two marriages without doing any work, now was the time to get a job again. While it may seem harsh at first glance, the AITA post clarified why this was happening.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9928152320
    via ThisisEngineering
  • 02
    AITA for telling my mom to get a job just like everyone else? Throwaway account because my main has personal info.
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 03
    My (34F) mother (59F) has not worked for the last ~30 years. When we were little, dad worked and she was a SAHM. She refused to work even when we were older, I remember my parents fighting about it. After their divorce mom remarried almost instantly and relied on her (much older) husband, who died last year leaving everything for his adult kids and almost nothing for her.
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 04
    After the death of her second husband, mom moved in with my brother and his wife. She was supposed to look after their kids while they work. This didn't work out and they are kicking her out, which is totally my mom's fault, I told her multiple times this would happen if she continued to act like she did. She was extremely mean to SIL, tried to run their household, acted like the queen, refused to watch the kids full time, which was their original agreement (she only watched them like half day t
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 05
    Now she wants to move in with me. She's claiming she'd help with the kid (I have a 2yo). I told her no, I saw what happened to my brother and SIL, you caused major issues in their marriage and I will not risk it. After all, you always told us adult children should never live with their parents (yes, we were both kicked out at 18 right after we finished school). She started crying and saying she doesn't have anywhere to go (she has until the end of the month to leave my brother's house). I told h
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 06
    Now, multiple relatives are texting me, basically saying me and SIL are horrible people. Mom's dead husbands son called to scold me, telling me my mom is my responsibility and not theirs so I should do what's right. I do not feel guilty but perhaps that's what makes me the AH? Am I? I do feel bad about people claiming I'm a bad daughter. Mainly because my mother was never a model mom herself, she never put her kids first and was generally disinterested in us unless she needed something. I mean,
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 07
    Beck2010 When a relative calls berating you for not housing your mother, your only response should be, "I'm so glad you called and that you're so concerned. I'll let mom know you've offered her lodging. Please reach out to her directly to make arrangements." NTA.
    via Beck2010
  • 08
    No-Alarm-2208 NTA Your mom gave you a hard time when you were 18, OP. But she certainly "can't take what she dished out", now that she's in that position! You don't owe here anything! Tell your judgmental relatives to let her move in with them, if they're so concerned about her. She can freeload off them for a while. Who knows? They might better understand the reasoning behind your decision.
    via No-Alarm-2208
  • 09
    fungibleprofessional NTA. You have the benefit of knowing exactly how she will act. If you take her in, you'll probably suffer every single day until you kick her out. Depending on how much money your brother gave her and how much she got from the inheritance, I might consider kicking in a little extra just to completely wash my hands of the situation, but you're totally justified giving her nothing. And the fact that she's similarly pestering and guilting her husband's son does not make this yo
    via fungibleprofessional
  • 10
    DifferenceUnique3618 OP I don't know how much she got from her husband but my brother gave her 800€ every month for like 7 months or so. She could have saved up since she didn't have to pay for anything living with them. She also gets some money from the government for being a 'single adult household' but it's only a couple hundred a month afaik
    via DifferenceUnique3618
  • 11
    diminishingpatience NTA. multiple relatives are texting me, basically saying me and SIL are horrible people. Great: people who want her in their homes.
    via diminishingpatience
  • 12
    J-Kensington It's a wonderful Revelation when you treat someone exactly the way that they treated you. Usually within a sentence or two they show that they knew it was NTA. up all along.
    via J-Kensington
  • 13
    lipgloss_addict Ahhhh the consequences of one's actions. Your mom is a peach. It but it is what it is. Even in the midst of this She can't keep her agreements. You think someone with no options would be more helpful. This is why being a sahm wife is tricky and dangerous. Breadwinners die in loving relationships all the time. There should always be a plan in place for the stay at home person. This is what happens when there isn't. This is why the tradwife fantasy is just that........a fantasy.
    via lipgloss_addict
  • 14
    [deleted] Ohhh she is a professional parasite. NTA
    via [deleted]
  • 15
    CinnamonBlue NTA. She could living with you for the next 20-30 years if you let her stay for a day. Don't do it.
    via CinnamonBlue
  • 16
    Top_Detective4153 Karma took her time and kicked your mom square in her teeth. She kicked you out at 18 when you were young, vulnerable and said you're an adult figure it out. What did she think would happen when she was old? NTA.
    via Top_Detective4153
  • 17
    No_Goose_7390 NTA. Make, bed, lie
    via No_Goose_7390
  • 18
    Blonde2468 NTA. I'm older than your mom and I hold down a full time job and even do volunteer work and am a part of several community organizations. Her age is no deterrent for her not working. What stands in her way is her ENTITLEMENT. No one is given a free ride in life and she's had one way longer than almost anyone I have heard of. It's time she stands on her own two feet and provides for herself. It is her own fault that she is in this position - no one else's. Her step son is right - she i
    via Blonde2468
  • 19
    Trevena_Ice NTA. You mother is a leech. She is not doing anything. And buhu her plan of getting a big inheritance didn't work. Too bad for her. I don't understand how your brother still keeps up with her. Would have kicked her out much sooner after the insident of her agreed to babysit, not doing it and letting the baby suffer with a full diaper. You are absolutly correct. This woman should work for herself. Maybe she even gets some widow money from the state. But after how she treated you, you
    via Trevena_Ice
  • 20
    Freeverse711 NTA. All those relatives can take her in if they care that much. You saw what she did at SIL and your brother's house. Do not let that woman in your house and do not help with rent, if you give it it will never stop.
    via Freeverse711

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